Running Now: Mostly Gratitude

Every morning that I get out for a run the past two weeks, I am filled with an overwhelming sense of joy and gratitude that I am running. I know 3.5 weeks off due to hip pain isn’t a lifetime (or even an entire month!), but it was no fun. Even if I’m getting up during the 4:00 hour of the morning after several nights of interrupted sleep (Seriously kid… what’s up with these wake ups during the night?) I am grateful.

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Easy morning run. #runselfie #shoeselfie #instaweatherpro #halobelt

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//platform.instagram.com/en_US/embeds.jsI finish the run and feel happy. And yet… I look at my results after and realize I am slower. It frustrates me. And then I’m frustrated that I am frustrated. It really is silly… I took several weeks off, I am running a little more tentatively/cautiously because I have this nagging concern in the back of my mind the whole time that I will suddenly feel that intense pain once more. I’m operating on 5-6 hours of sleep a night. It makes sense that I’d be slower. And I should be going slower. I have big goals for the future and I want to run big miles. I need to slow down to cover the distance, both in terms of miles and in terms of years in my life. So I shouldn’t be frustrated with myself. But I am.

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Got it done, despite being awake with the kid since 4. #runselfie #shoeselfie

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And yet, I’m mostly grateful. It’s so wild how running has worked its way into my blood, my soul, my being. If you’d asked me if I would enjoy running during my teenage years (or even most of my 20’s) I would have said “Hell no!” And now, I feel a little less whole if I can’t do it. That’s both wonderful and wrong. Because I am still a good person whether or not I run and I can’t put all my proverbial happiness eggs in one basket. But I’m really glad I have running to bring me this joy.

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Good morning world! #runselfie #shoeselfie

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And I just have to say… if you get out to run super early in the mornings or late at night and you’re in the dark, get a HaloBelt! I backed this campaign on Kickstarter and I’m so glad I did… I feel so much better running in the dark and dawn/dusk knowing I have something that makes me a little more visible. I’m definitely going to wear it when I do Ragnar again (along with the requisite butt light, headlamp/Knuckle Lights in action too.)

3 comments

  1. I’ve had a series of great early morning runs lately and even though I’m a bit slower than I’d like to be, at the end of each run I just wallow in the joy of being outside and running. It’s not easy to let go of the numbers, but I’m trying to let my pride of the fact I just got my butt outside at all push that stuff aside.

    Like the HaloBelt! I’ve been relying on my improvised knuckle lights and bright clothing, but it’s getting too dark now for just that.

  2. I love my early morning runs! I haven’t had one in over a week because of my dang Achilles and now something wonky in my back. I’m supposed to be tapering for my marathon in one week. Now I’m not even sure I’ll make it to the starting line!

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