This Zim’s Max Freeze has been my best friend lately. I got a massage on Monday and it was horribly painful. Massage shouldn’t be that painful.

During the massage, the pain was pretty intense, but I kept telling myself that it was doing me some good. “It was working out all the knots that had built up from all the stress/tension I have and from daily running.” Every time I get a massage the therapist comments on how tense my shoulders and neck are. I know I have a lot of stress and it affects me physically all over. My life has felt like it gets more and more stressful every month and it has been building up pressure over the past several years. I thought I needed to get these “knots” out.

But it was really excruciating at times. I kept thinking that I’d cry UNCLE! but then I’d feel something give or move in my body and I figured there were things breaking up that needed to be broken up. But at times the therapist would be working on my upper arm and I’d be thinking “Left big toe, left big toe…” just trying to put my focus on somewhere else. I even started singing “This is the song that never ends” over and over in my head.

Within 30 minutes of leaving there were already purple-y spots showing up on my skin and they’ve only gotten worse as the days have gone by. There are spots all over my legs, but the worst are all up and down my arm. Not only are the bruises ugly, they are extremely tender. Putting my shirt on hurts. My daughter tried to cuddle up against me as we read a story and it caused physical pain. Cuddles with my 4-year-old shouldn’t hurt!

My entire body feels slightly achy and running has felt jarring. Each impact is a sudden little jolt to each of these pain points. Thank goodness for the Octane Fitness Zero Runner so I could get some miles in without crying in pain with every step.

I don’t think getting myself beat up is the best approach to minimize stress. In the future, I think massage will be for relaxation and I will make sure my therapist knows that I want to run the risk of falling asleep because it feels nice as opposed to cringing and forcing myself to concentrate on some other part of my body in an effort to not tense up the painful spot they’re working on.