Complaining

complaint form screenshotOkay, I’m not going to devote an entire week to complaining, but I’m going to get some things off my chest!

Body Issues

I feel a little like my body is a foreign land that I’m trapped in and I don’t know the language. There’s just something that feels a little “off” lately. I also feel like my body is progressively breaking down on me. I have sores just on the inside of each nostril that keep breaking open. I got a couple of milk blisters the week before my race. I got a clogged milk duct after the race. My chronically knotted back/shoulders/neck feel even more knotted up than ever. Sometimes when I reach to pick up my baby I feel like someone is stabbing a dagger in my upper back. (Okay, what I imagine that feels like, since it’s obviously never really happened.) My legs are covered in bruises of unknown origin. My right eye keeps blurring over. (Similasan Irritate Eye Relief drops help!) My skin feels more dry than usual.

Clothing

I bought a gray cardigan at Target that is super cute (to replace a sloppy gray hoodie I bought off a discount rack 3 years ago for $5 intending to use it as a throwaway at a race, but it’s lingered in my wardrobe for too long) and wore it twice… and then it shrunk in the dryer. I didn’t dry it the first time it got washed, just laid it flat to dry but missed catching it this time around. Now, it’s worthless.

Some of my new flowy tops are fun additions to the wardrobe, but they’re annoying when breastfeeding. They tend to slide down on Alex’s face or over the pump since they’re more silky material. Also, the purple top’s sleeves are annoying for daily life (washing hands, chopping vegetables, etc.).

February 2013 Outfit Loose, gauzy top with purple skinny jeans from last month

I see lots of cute dresses all over fashion blogs and Pinterest, but I don’t think I can buy a dress now because 1) they don’t work while nursing and 2) I crawl and sit on the floor a lot while at home due to the baby and dresses aren’t really good “floor attire”.

My aqua skinny jeans stretch out at the waist after a couple of hours of wear, so then they start to fall down. Skinny jeans that get baggy in the crotch aren’t as cute.

Food

I am hungry a lot of the time, my appetite has returned after being sick a few weeks back. Yet nothing sounds good to me except oatmeal with PB, trail mix, carrots and peanut m&m’s. Obviously I can’t live on only those! Meal preparation just feels like a big hassle and inconvenience! I’m pretty much over cooking because I feel like it’s kind of pointless since my hubby never eats dinner with me due to his work schedule. I know I have to eat, but for almost every meal I find myself feeling resigned about whatever I put together. Kind of “Well, I have to eat so I may as well have this.”

Trail Mix
Trail mix… peanuts and cashews and almonds and pistachios with raisins and cranberries and m&m’s and white chocolate chips. It’s our super-duper trail mix blend!

Sleep

I’m soooooo tired. The baby has been waking up progressively earlier each day. I need more sleep, and I don’t want to start each day at 4:20. How can the baby only nap for 40 minutes during the day and then wake up so early ready to play? I thought babies were supposed to need 12 or so hours of sleep at night and several naps!

Awake Baby
This is what the baby looks like when she wakes up at 4:20 and has been awake for a couple hours.

That’s all the complaining I’ll do. But I did like my idea of complaining and sending things off into the technology void to just get them out of your brain. So I made the “Internet Complaint Form“. I think it would be funny if it got picked up and passed around! So if you’ve got something that’s bothering you, feel free to submit it and lose that burden!

Internet Complaint Form

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4 comments

  1. Sometimes you just need to complain, get it off your chest. When you see it all laid out you can figure how to fix it. Have you thought of the Fred Rodgers method of dressing 1 outfit for work/out and about and then change into something more reasonable for crawling with the baby? Another thing that I offer mothers with new babies, i “steal” the baby for as long as possible, hipefully a full day and i tell the mom to sleep, rest, etc. its not a day to catch up on chores that have slipped it is not a day for a long run just a day for sleep and rest without guilt. obviously i dont know you in person but i bet you have people in your life that would love to give uou that day. You need it. You may also want to talk to a doctor if this energy level/appetite thing continues

    • Thank you for your kind words! I can’t even begin to fathom having a day of complete rest… but perhaps I will take a vacation day from work to give myself that!

  2. You and I are such similar creatures….so, I don’t want you to fall into the “let’s just get through this” trap. ENJOY EVERY SECOND. The baby will be a high schooler before you know it…and you’ll have your wardrobe and great shoes….and no baby to hold….just a teen rolling her eyes at you. I never thought I would REALLY miss baby time, but you do.
    I specifically remember trying to breastfeed Abbi at a party where there were “older” moms there. One of them came up to me JUST to listen to the sound because she said she missed it. I thought she was nuts THEN…now I totally get it. It is SUCH a short period of time that you get to HAVE a baby.
    Your life is YOURS. Your journey is chosen by you. If you get caught up in everyone’s expectations you’ll forget to ENJOY the baby time of your life.
    Besides: I live on cupcakes and Monsters….and I’m just fine….lol
    You are an outstanding mother and woman. I am so honored to be your friend.

    • This comment brought a tear to my eye. I need the reminder that this time is fleeting. I don’t want to wish away her baby time, but it is really draining! And I do worry too much about what I think people expect of me… when in reality I don’t even know what they expect of me!

      Perhaps I should indulge in more cupcakes, since I can’t do the Monster as I’m living caffeine-free right now! 🙂

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