My sweet girl

If you didn’t see on Facebook or Twitter or somewhere… I had my baby!
Mom and Alex at the Hospital

Alexis Olivia joined our family on Friday August 24, 2012 at 9:21pm.
She was 7 lbs 10 oz and 19 inches long.

As scared as I was, I am very much in love with this little girl.

What I should have been more scared of was delivery/recovery. Delivery was more of a nightmare than I imagined and recovery is hard.

I do not intend to write a flowery-multi-post birth story here on my site, but I think I should write it down for her to have someday. I have had so many little questions about how my mom’s delivery went and how I came into the world, I think it would be nice to have my recollections written down for Alex to have someday if she decides to have kids.

But for the blog world, here’s the basic gist of what happened.

  • I went in for the balloon induction on Thursday at 3:30 PM. I was still barely dilated to a 1, so there hadn’t been much change in the days leading up to it.
  • By 5:00 I was contracting pretty hard.
  • By 6:00 I said we should go to the hospital.
  • They told me that I was dilated to a 2 but only because of the balloon thus far, if they took that out I would be right back to a 1. So they gave me an Ambien and sent me home to sleep. They said if they’re REAL labor contractions I wouldn’t be able to sleep through them despite the pill.
  • So I slept a few hours, but by midnight I was awake with pretty strong contractions. I didn’t want to go to the hospital again, since we were just supposed to check in at 6 AM anyway. And I felt like I was so noisy, trying to breath through each one… yet my husband snored away. I think maybe he got an Ambien too! πŸ˜‰
  • I tried for force some breakfast in around 5 AM, taking bites between contractions. At 6 AM we checked into the hospital. They hooked me up to a bunch of different tubes and needles as I tried to power through these pretty strong contractions, but I was already tired from them.
  • By 8 AM I gave up on the idea that I would go natural and got an epidural. So glad I did this.
  • For the next 11 hours it was a game of seeing if I’d dilated (I did but it was sloooooow.) and seeing the baby’s position. The baby was posterior, meaning her head was facing up toward my stomach instead of toward my back which makes for a more difficult delivery. She was also at -1 station for much of the day/night. Every time they had me change positions in attempts to get the baby to move or turn, her heart rate plummeted. I even had to do some stints of hard pushing just to try to get the baby to move down to a place where people would still not be pushing quite yet.

    Baby head positions/stations in labor
    Baby head positions/stations in labor
  • During this time, the baby had her first poop – while Β inside me. Which sounds kind of funny at first, but it’s not all humor. Now the fluid inside was contaminated and she could potentially breathe the meconium in and cause more serious issues requiring NICU time.
  • Another ob/gyn doctor came in at the last-minute to see if the baby could be vacuumed out of me, but she was still way to far up. So my midwife told me that she just didn’t think the way I was progressing was going to do much. If we kept trying to push and maneuver for hours longer there was still no guarantee the baby would make it out vaginally, but both of us would be super stressed and in more harm.
  • A team was assembled and within about 20 minutes I was on the operating table, getting my abdomen cut open. The pressure release when they took the baby out was pretty amazing.
  • They whisked her away so all the specialists on hand for her due to previous troubles throughout the day could check her out. Fortunately, she’s a strong one and all systems were go.
  • Kevin was trying to peek over at them to see what we had. And when he figured it out he whispered to me “You got your baby girl.” And I started to cry… never imagining I would be so happy.

Apparently I am doing better than a lot of people they’ve seen at the hospital post c-section, but it doesn’t make it easier for me mentally.Β I prepared myself mentally to be tired, I knew that was part of the game. But I wasn’t equipped to feel so… in need of recovery. I imagined I’d be out pushing her in the stroller now (since she’s a whopping 3 days old and 11 hours old!) and that moving around would be easier.

Alexis is a beautiful little girl, she’s strong-willed and cuddly. I am very happy to be her mommy, I just wish that I felt more physically capable of being a good mommy right now. But I can still cuddle and feed and love her… and I guess that’s more important than going on walks and being able to pick something up off the floor!

31 comments

  1. aaawww Jill, I am crying reading this! I love you my friend and if you need anything during your recovery, please let me know!

  2. Congratulations, Jill!! I am so, so happy for you. Your life has changed in more ways than you know…and it is all good! I am sorry you had such a tough delivery. My first was tough. I now have a story to tell him. Ironically, my tough birth was my angel baby. My second birth was a breeze and she has given me more trouble. Life is a big balancing act.

    Here is what I tell my fitness clients after having a C-section: GIVE YOURSELF A BREAK. You had visions of strolling through the park three days postpartum, but you just had MAJOR SURGERY. Please remember that. Would you go out walking if you had any other abdominal surgery? Your fitness WILL return. You will have time to walk or run with your stroller when she is old enough to see more than a few inches in front of her and can enjoy it.. Take the help that is offered to you. And most importantly YOU ARE A GOOD MOMMY. She doesn’t need any more than what you can give her sitting on the couch.

  3. What a drama queen already! πŸ˜‰ (jk) Congrats again though I still wish you’d gone with Stacy πŸ™‚

    I’m glad things went well (no serious complicatons) although the poop part is pretty gross. I wonder how normal that is. And how do the doctors know?!

    Anyway I am glad you are both doing well and that you seem to be more excited about her now that she’s here (since you seemed disconnected before – not in a bad way!). Hope you recover quickly and easily!

  4. I am so happy for you! I second the give yourself a break advice. Your body just finished growing an entire human being that was delivered via c-section! your amazing body does really need to recover. Congratulations!

  5. Awww, I’m so happy for you. I too had a little tear in my eye as I read this as I could relate to it 100%. I’ll commiserate with you, c-sections suck! And don’t be alarmed when you have an awesome feeling day, followed by 3 not-so-awesome days. The recovery time is LONG.
    But you’ll get there and it is all worth it. I look at my scar as a battle wound, a battle that I won because I got a bouncy baby boy out of it!

    Ask for help, accept help…

    Oh, Mia was a poopy baby too. As was I. Ha!

  6. Oh my goodness, I’M CRYING TOO, also remembering how it felt after giving birth and finding out we had a sweet little girl. πŸ™‚ You’ll definitely remember this birth for a long time and have a great story to tell Alex. I’m sorry it was so hard, I hope Alex will be a sweet little baby for you. And I’m sure Kevin will happily wait on you as long as it takes you to recover. Ha!

  7. Big congrats Jill and family! Alex is BEAUTIFUL and I am so happy for all of you. I had a c-section with my first and it does take time to heal and recover, but your body will bounce back and be strong. Right now enjoy the quiet time with your daughter in these special early days.

  8. Congratulations! What a great name, too! I hope you get some time to recover. Trust me, you will need all the strength you can get for the upcoming weeks & months.

  9. She is absolutely adorable, congratulations! Don’t feel bad about taking care of yourself right now… that’s what she needs now too; cuddles and rest =)

  10. Uh, that was supposed to be in reply to Marci’s comment, saying she is SO HAPPY THAT YOU ARE HAPPY.

    And I will echo everyone else and say, be gentle with yourself! Take the time you need to heal, you just had MAJOR surgery after contractions and pushing and posterior labor and the stress of a meconium baby, etc. You are absolutely doing exactly what you should be doing for your baby if you are cuddling her and loving her. There will be PLENTY of time for walks in the park later.

    If you need any breastfeeding advice, if you have any questions about diapers or sleep or white noise machines, if you just need a shoulder to cry on, I am MORE than happy to help. I would have gone crazy in my first year of parenting if I hadn’t had other moms to talk to and laugh with. Even if you never call on me, please do lean on your friends who are moms! They have walked the road you’re now walking on, and they can really understand. πŸ™‚

    Sending quick-healing vibes and happy-baby wishes! Take care, and kiss Alex right on top of her head for me, please!

  11. I’m pretty sure the reason why you did so well post c-section is because you’re so fit. πŸ™‚ Congratulations to your new addition. I am also very happy for you. πŸ™‚

  12. I loved reading this post, so much that I’ve read it several times the past few days. So happy for you guys! And I was a little amazed you were feeling up to blog updates so soon. I’m looking forward to hearing more about Alex. But don’t feel the need to be a wonder-mom. You’re giving all she needs. Take it nice and easy on yourself, give yourself a break, especially if some days are harder, as they will be.
    I second what Bethany said about being more than willing to listen and offer suggestions if you ever want to talk baby stuff.

  13. Awww, that made me tear up. Inductions aren’t easy (I had one), and recovering from a c-section is no fun at all (I had two). In both of my recoveries, one week seemed to be a magical step up – I found that that’s when the swelling from the IV fluids goes down. After that, it’s just a slow and steady getting better… hang in there. Of course, having a sweet baby to snuggle makes up for a lot of the recovery crap. πŸ˜‰
    Congratulations!

  14. FIrst time visitor to your blog, but I can so TOTALLY relate. I had a c-section with my (planned natural birth) after a 12 hour natural labor and 4+hours with an epidural, and it is VERY hard to come back from! I couldnt walk to the bathroom by myself for 4 days. Give yourself time, lots of time. I didn’t run again for 3 months, but you will be enjoying walks soon, and don’t worry, your scar won’t hurt anymore by the time she’s teething! xo

  15. I’ve been so out of the blogging loop for a few months…but decided to check back in tonight and LOOK WHAT I FIND! Congratulations Jill! C-Section babies are always beautiful…the recovery will be just fine (I had two of ’em)!

  16. Wow, Jill, I haven’t been online to check anyone’s blog in ages and here I pop on to yours and find you’ve had your little girl! SO exciting! I’m really happy for you! πŸ™‚ Hugs!!!

  17. isn’t it the strangest feeling when they pull the baby out of the incision? It’s like you didn’t realize how heavy it was until suddenly you can breathe so much easier and everything is so much lighter. My two c-sections (first and fourth baby) were also because the baby was posterior and wouldn’t come down, despite my being dilated to a 10. It’s ridiculous how long it takes to truly feel recovered from a c-section, but I think you’ll probably recover much faster than a lot of us, because you are in good shape. Congratulations again!

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