It’s been mentioned here, but I’ll reiterate it… we are not finding out the sex of the baby. We are waiting until “birth day” to learn. You would think we are doing the most horrible thing in the world the way some people react.
“But how will you plan and know what to buy?”
Easy… we’ll get gender-neutral stuff. We haven’t really bought much for the kid yet, as that is rather intimidating and overwhelming. (Also, my husband has been really busy with work the past several months and I don’t want to do all of this myself.) But we did actually buy a carseat. And look… it’s a nice gender-neutral red. And I kind of love it.
“But how am I supposed to know what to buy for you?”
Sheesh… if it causes you that much anxiety and stress, don’t get me anything. I’m sooooooo sorry that MY choice about how I will welcome MY child into this world causes you distress. YOU don’t actually have to do much planning for this kid, so chill out!
Um… because we chose to do that. And being the parents, that’s our choice.
“How can you plan?”
We can’t. I don’t think there is any way to really plan for parenthood. But buying pink things vs. sports-themed items doesn’t really constitute planning to me. Alright… that’s kind of a half-assed answer. So for the planning things I assume people are meaning: gender-neutral gear and clothes. If we ever have a name discussion (which, no… we have not discussed names or even come up with a short-list yet) we’ll come up with both boy and girl names. Basically… kind of like people used to plan in the past. Did you know that I was born in the dark ages where there were no ultrasounds and my parents didn’t know what I was? True, they assumed I was a boy the whole time… but they adapted and thankfully did not name me Gertrude. “Gertrude Will Run” just doesn’t have the same ring to it!
Both of us have leanings toward wanting and thinking this baby is a girl. But I don’t know that I trust that whole “parent intuition” thing in regard to that. (See previous paragraph where my parents assumed I was a boy.) I want a girl for the following reasons:
- Boys = WTF?! We used to have neighbors with 12-year-old twin boys and I would watch them from the porch as they built ramps/jumps out of various items of trash they found and then proceeded to ride their bikes/scooters/rollerblades/skateboards/etc. off these things. The whole time I would be thinking, “Don’t do it, that’s going to hurt.” Once they tried it my thought pattern always changed to, “That had to hurt.” I just don’t get it. (However, my hubby thought their ramps looked like fun.)
- I want to see a girl wrap my hubby around her little finger.
- My husband comes from a big family and all of his siblings have big families. (Especially since I come from a family of two kids.) So we have a TON of nieces and nephews on his side. Well…. we have a TON of nephews and a few nieces. We need to add another girl to the mix.
Common wisdom says that the man determines the gender, as the woman only contributes an X chromosome and the man can contribute an X or a Y. In the book Do Chocolate Lovers Have Sweeter Babies?: The Surprising Science of Pregnancy it talks about how it can actually run in families to be more male or female dominant. However… the woman does actually have a part in this too. Not like either party is making a conscious decision one way or the other… but sometimes the environment inside the woman favors X’s and sometimes it favors Y’s. So either way it is a matter of survival of the fittest for the existing circumstances.
And if you are one of those people who thinks I’m terrible for saying I’m leaning toward wanting a girl… obviously I just want the baby to be healthy. 🙂