How did I make myself… healthy?

I feel like I’m a constantly evolving work in progress… but I think I wouldn’t be as open to evolving and changing if it weren’t for some of the things I’ve tackled in life. And running has been a big part of helping me to define myself and allowing me to take on new challenges.

Nike Women Make Yourself Movement
In the past, I had tried to do a running program from time to time, mainly because I thought it sounded tough to “be a runner” or I wanted to try fitting myself into a mold that society places on women. But running never stuck with me. After my mom was diagnosed with breast cancer for the second time, we decided that we wanted to do “something big” together once she beat that. After several ideas were thrown around, the only one that sounded appropriate was to do a marathon. I didn’t run a lot during that race, mainly when I saw cameras on the course, but that was a turning point for me.

I was struggling with an eating disorder and it is a miracle that I actually made it through the whole 26.2 miles with how malnourished I was. I was struck by such a feeling of accomplishment, empowerment and achievement as I came across the finish line. Not only by the fact that I had done something that earlier in life I would have considered impossible, but also by the fact that there were so many different people participating in that event. There was no single mold that defined “health”, yet all of these people exuded “health”.

I knew that I had to change my ways if I wanted to keep that good feeling. So I tried to change things on my own.

Things with my eating disorder did improve, but it was still a lingering battle despite finishing a lot of other races during that time. And after a particularly low point (my DNF), I was starting to fall back into old ways. I knew I needed to seek help to get through this battle all the way. Trusting in others was hard, but it’s essential. Social interaction from friends and family is something that everybody needs, it’s even part of Maslow’s hierarchy of needs.

Silver Note Medal Bryce Canyon Half Marathon 2009 Cedar Canyon Half Marathon

I sought professional help 2 years ago. I can’t comfortably say that I am RECOVERED yet, but I am RECOVERING. And in this I’m making myself healthy. I used to associate healthy with just exercising, eating “good” foods and fitting into a certain size. Now I know that healthy is a much broader thing, something that doesn’t really have anything to do with the size of clothing I wear or the number on a scale. It’s about exercising because it feels good, it’s about nourishing my body while enjoying what I eat at the same time, it’s about having family and friends as a support system, it’s about taking care of myself so that I am able to help others.

And healthy is constantly evolving and changing, because life is constantly evolving and changing.

I’m finding that idea a lot more hopeful and exciting than I used to.

I have been invited to participate in the Nike Women Make Yourself Movement to tell my story. This post is in response to their first question, “How did you make yourself?
Follow Nike Women on Facebook and Twitter

How did you make yourself?

Advertisements

12 comments

  1. Great post Jill. I can’t agree with you more about the concept of “health” ever evolving and changing. I’m really proud of you and have been blessed to watch you grow and recover over the last 2 years. You encourage me 🙂 And with regard to being recovered vs. recovering – I struggle with that too. I like saying “I’m in remission” from my ED. Because it kinda implies it always has the potential to come to the forefront again. Maybe for one day, one hour, or one thought. Congratulations Jill on Making Yourself Healthy 🙂

  2. I think this was one of your best posts ever, equal to the one where you talked about your eating disorder. I think you were very brave to write both of them. And I think the way you are looking at things is very healthy, reaching out to others for support and realizing you have to, but also realizing how hard it is to do so. (You and I are so on parallel paths again…)

    I cannot believe it has been two years (plus) that we have been chatting online, I feel very blessed to have your support and you in my life. I hope I have also supported you at least half as well as you have supported me. Thank you.

  3. Jill, I hope you know how proud I am of you, and how much I love watching your return to health. Sometimes I think that “beating” breast cancer is easy compared to your trials. My prayers and love are always with you!!!

  4. i love it! you are an awesome representative for nike and their movement 🙂

    you have always seemed like a very strong person to me – i know you will continue to grow and recover!

  5. I love this- it is so obvious why NIKE loves you. You are such an honest inspiration.

    I try to stay healthy by not allowing what others think or say affect me.

  6. Thank you for sharing this, Jill. It was very inspiring 🙂 You have such a great attitude when it comes to your recovery!

    I’m not sure that I’ve ‘made’ myself yet, but I’m getting there.

  7. You got an amazing story to tell. This is a very heartwarming post and I totally agree with you that we all need to be healthy not only physically but also spend some time keeping up with our social lives. Continue to inspire people coz you are a great person!s

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s