That Was Weird…

Yesterday morning I was running with a friend/coaching client.  We were planning on doing 14 miles together.  After 2.5 miles I had to make a pit stop. (See: Runner’s Gut)  As we were approaching the end of our first 7 mile loop I told her, “I don’t think I have 14 miles in me today. I really don’t feel well.”  She told me to go home and get feeling better.  I got in my car, feeling a little bit of relief, a little bit of guilt and a whole lot of discomfort.

I pulled out of the parking lot, got up to 30 miles an hour and then… FLASHING LIGHTS.  I was being pulled over.  It was a school zone, oops…

Police Lights
Image by Tattooed JJ via Flickr

The cop came to my window and took my license while asking, “Are you in a hurry?”

I said, “No… well, yes, I don’t feel very well.”

He said, “Sure… don’t I see you running with your friend past here every week?”

I said, “Yes… that’s what we were doing today. I had to bow out early cause I wasn’t feeling well.”

He said, “How far were you running?”

I said, “14 miles.”

He said, “That’s sick right there miss.”

Then it started to get really weird… He said, “You and your friend see me out here every week.  Why would you speed?  You know I’m here because you make fun of me for being fat.”

HUH?!  What?!  I said, “Um… no, we’ve never made fun of you.”

He said, “Yeah, you run past and you make fun of me cause I’m fat.”

Then he looked at me and said, “Are you feeling okay?  You look really pale and you’re pretty sweaty.”

Well, never mind the fact that I had just run 7 miles that would make someone sweat… plus the extra sweat that seems to come on after I stop moving.  But I do recall mentioning a couple times that I wasn’t feeling well.

He said, “Don’t get sick on me.  Puke on your leather seats if you have to, but not on my uniform.”


He looked closer at me, “You’re real pale. And sweaty. And one pupil is bigger than the other. Is something else wrong?”

I was kind of scared of him, but I couldn’t help it…tears welled up in my eyes and I said, “I’m just really stressed.  By my job, by outside commitments, my eye isn’t healing properly after eye surgery, my husband is out of town, and I got sick on a run.”

He paused and then said, “Yeah… that would do it. Listen… you just go home. And don’t speed anymore.  And don’t make fun of me cause I’m fat.  I’m watching you and your little friend.  Now head home.”

While I’m immensely relieved I didn’t get a ticket and that I didn’t puke on a cop, the whole thing kind of creeped me out a little.  I used to think it is a good sign to see a cop while out running early in the morning in the dark.  But this guy with his imagined stories of us mocking him and keeping an eye on us was just a little weird.


  1. First of all, that was COMPLETELY inappropriate and you should know that as a person in power he should NOT HAVE SAID ANYTHING LIKE THAT TO YOU. My suggestion would honestly be to call the police station to report the situation to his manager. If you know he’s there every week and you didn’t catch his badge number, then you can just describe what he looks like. He sounds out of balance and I wouldn’t want a guy like that as a cop in my area. (If he assumes that he knows what people are talking about, think about how twisted his perception on reality is in general.)

    • I didn’t get his badge number or name, but I could probably explain the location and the time of day and they might know. But then again, I’m a little scared if I did that he’d still be out there and would react even more strangely!

  2. Uhhhhh….

    Wow, that is a little nutty, for sure. I’m thinking you should find a new place to run.

    To Lauren’s point, if you call the police station and describe what the cop looks like, don’t say “He’s the fat one”. 🙂

    • The thought of finding a new place to run crossed my mind… but the problem is that there is a bunch of construction near my part of town now and they’ve closed off a lot of the areas I used to run, so this is one of the main points to be able to run near my house!

      Good advice…. The truth is, he really wasn’t FAT. Maybe a little overweight, but nothing bad.

  3. The hell??

    I imagine this cop being played by the late Phil Hartman in a series of SNL skits — “Insecure, Belligerent Fat Cop” — where he pulls people over, then berates them with his own self-flogging delusions.

  4. Wow. This story both creeps me out and infuriates me. He asked you if you weren’t feeling well, and you told him you weren’t, he said he saw you all the time…and yet he continued to bluster! I think you should report the situation. I know from working as a Resident Assistant in college (I have a point! and it’s relevant, honest!) that when there is a “problem person” the only way authorities can address the problem is if people file actual reports about it. Most people don’t want to make trouble, or they just can’t be bothered, so only rarely do things get officially noted. It used to frustrate all of us in Res Ed because we would know of an ongoing problem, we would WANT to help take care of the problem, but we couldn’t do a thing because there was no paper trail. We used to have to beg people to file incident reports so we could have something to point to and say, “Look, it’s not just in our imaginations, it’s not a one-time thing; there is a pattern here.”

    Even if all this cop needs is a vacation or some extra training, he probably won’t ever get it unless his bosses are aware there’s a problem.

    I’m sorry this happened to you, anyway! I hope you’re feeling better.

  5. that is mega weird and I agree reporting it is important. Who knows what other creepy things he is doing that also aren’t being reported.

  6. weirdddd. let us know if you follow up on that w/ the station or anything. maybe he was just trying to be funny? since he “knows” you from seeing you running all the time? that’s what i would try to tell myself anyway.

  7. I have to say that is a little weird. I’ve recently starting running, and I have lost about 30 pounds (intentionally) I have noticed overweight people have been less nice to me than before. I have even been ridiculed for being too skinny (5′ 8″ 170lbs) I have never said anything about overweight people, and never thought anything bad about them.

    But the other day at work I said that I thought overweight people did not like skinny people. An overweight person said, yea, that’s right I hate them. He was serious.

  8. That is sooo weird. I think that guy has some issues with body image that he needs to deal with instead of attaching it to someone else. STRANGE.


  9. See… I’m just a little nervous about reporting him because if nothing happens, then he’ll still be patrolling in that same spot and he’ll know it was me that said something! But he’s definitely got some kind of body confidence issue to bring that up completely out of the blue like that!

  10. I second what everyone says- he was completely inappropriate. And you are afraid to say something because THAT IS WHAT ASSHOLE COPS DO- they make people afraid. Intimidation is bullshit Jill! Look, I won’t lie, I would be afraid too, but he cannot treat you, or anyone, that way. Ever.

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