Throwing in the Towel

Alright, first I need to thank everyone for contributing their tips for running in the rain. So much great insight that I will apply to my running at some point!

Sadly, I did not actually use those this week… I couldn’t get up the proper mindset to go run in the rain, so I did a couple runs on the treadmill. And those felt so hard! I have no idea how I did so many miles on that blasted thing a couple years ago, but this week it felt like torture. My treadmill is still desperately in need of service; it squeals and grinds and groans; all things that make the whole experience even more disconcerting.

01/19/10 Run 01/21/10 Run

This whole week I’ve been feeling crummy anyway. The gloomy and sad feeling from last week carried into this week, something that probably wasn’t helped at all by the cloudy, wet, dark days we had all week. Las Vegas received more rain this week than we did in the entire year last year. Granted, this TONS of rain doesn’t even compare to some parts of the country, but for us it was really abnormal. And since we never get rain, the ground is so dry the moisture doesn’t just soak in right away, but it rolls away into various flood channels built into the city. Roads turn into rivers and small lakes form at various corners. I think the whole city felt grumpy.

In addition to feeling down, I just haven’t felt right this week. My brain feels foggy, my head feels like it’s clamped into a vice, my heart has felt fluttery and my breathing has been labored. I don’t know if it’s all a reaction to stress (because I’ve definitely been letting stressful things get to me, and been letting things that shouldn’t be stressful affect me) or if I have something else physically wrong. It’s frustrating. And when people tell me I have to “let things go”… well, I just don’t know how to do that.

Today the sky is clear, the air is cold and there’s a biting wind blowing… it would have been nice to go out for a run. Except for the fact that I spent the night sleeping on the bathroom floor, laying next to the toilet. I don’t know if my dinner didn’t settle right, or if this is another stress-related reaction, but I just can’t see going out for a run right now when I want to upchuck at regular intervals.

So I’m throwing in the towel… calling this week a wash. I’ll try again next week.

Sorry for the down tone of this post. I usually try to keep things upbeat, but I decided to keep it “real”. Every day is not all sunshine and rainbows!

Advertisements

10 comments

  1. When people tell you to just “let it go” don’t you just want to hit them sometimes?! 🙂 Oh, Jill, I do hope you feel better soon. And maybe it is something you should get checked out, as you’ve not been feeling great a lot, lately. Maybe your body is still fighting the remnants of whatever was bothering you last December? Here’s hoping most of tonight is spent in your bed, not on the bathroom floor.

  2. Everyone is entitled to a bad day- or week! Sometimes you just need to start over…

    We have been getting pounded with gross weather in NJ since about Dec 15 and I am so over it!!!

  3. I’m the same way… I can’t let things go! And combine that with gloomy weather? …I’m miserable! So don’t worry, I’m there with ya!

  4. I hope that you get some sunshine and rainbows next week. Once the “normal” weather returns, I am sure you’ll be right back where you need to be.

    Did you check out my post about the weather and my mood? We are definitely both feeling the funk. We had a sunny day here today and it lifted my spirits quite a bit. I’m sure once your tummy feels better, you’ll feel better too.

  5. Wow, reading that I swear I could have wrote it myself. I tend to internalize alot of my stress and I was thinkin that had a lot to do with how out of whack I have been feeling these last couple of weeks. and living in the mojave desert in california this past week has been rain overload for me. Here’s to us both having a better week next week. 🙂

  6. Jill I hope you feel better…with so many symptoms maybe you should go to the doc for a check up? Hope next week is better physically and mentally for you.

    Here in the midwest we have short, dark, dreary days too. Makes it tough to stay ‘up’ when one doesn’t see the sun for several days in a row. Rise in the dark…gloomy during the day…by 5:30 pm its dark again. AAAHHHH!

    But spring is around the corner for us both. Hang tough and the gloomy dayz will turn brighter and warmer. Soon we will be complaining about running in the hot weather. LOL.

    I personally have learned, somewhat, to ‘let it go’. It has taken me decades to learn this but finally I have learned that we can’t stress over things out of our control. I was laid off (again) in August, now working just part-time and starting my own audio/video business. But it also feels like I have new goals, newfound freedom and…stress at making 1/4 of what I did last year. But I can pay the bills, I can run, I have learned that I don’t need every new toy on the market (except Apple gear ha) and that simple things in life are more worthwhile than stressing all of the time.

    Good luck to you. I hope it does not take decades for you to learn what I have during that time. Its not worth it.

    Keep running,

    Doug
    irunnerbuzz

  7. I can TOTALLY relate to not being able to “let things go”. I call it when I “spin”. I start thinking about something, anything, too much and I just spin around with it until I go crazy. Sometimes I think my job allows me to sit with my thoughts too much and that’s why I’m constantly finding things to “spin” about. Running always helps me let go of things but its hard to find another way to deal with life when running isn’t available. I think everyone is right, it really sounds like you have a physical ailment. It might be a good idea to see a doctor. I hope you are feeling better soon Jill!

  8. Oh Jill, I feel for ya. It’s hard to pull out of a bad funk and the weather does NOTHING to help sometimes. It sounds like you have a virus as well, making everything just peachy. I wish I could instantly transport you to someplace sunny and warm, and help you get a handle on this funk that has you down. Hugs from Colorado.

  9. Oh wow! Thank you so much for all the kind comments. It’s things like this that really help me to feel like I’m not alone. Not that I want anyone else to have these funky feelings or down days, but it is kind of comforting to know that other people can relate! You guys are awesome!

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s