I hate birds.
I just think birds are vile and disgusting creatures, especially pigeons. They’re flying rats and there are far too many of them in the world.
On Saturday’s run I passed two or three dead pigeons lying on the road, one of which was decapitated. And at one point I was running along, minding my business, when a pigeon landed about two feet in front of my feet, rolled on it’s back and started twitching around. It freaked me out! I ran around the nasty thing and it was still twitching around, like it was having a seizure. I don’t like birds, but that’s still kind of sad.
Okay, so why am I rambling on about birds?
Well, I recently read a line in a book that said:
The thoughts fluttered around in my brain. Like a sparrow that has flown down the chimney and been trapped under the attic roof.
That just struck me because it totally describes me. Too often I get worked up over something, the words are just flying around in my head. And sometimes it feels like there isn’t enough room in there for everything I start to accumulate: my rational/irrational insecurities, fears, stressors, worries, concerns… those things take up a lot of space.
But when I run, a lot of those things tend to quiet. I feel a little more at peace in those moments. As if the sparrows in my brain have been released, my so-called “attic roof” is no longer keeping them in there.
And while I enjoy that respite, I do need to find other ways to keep my mind cleared. I can’t just run off all the time, trying to escape my thoughts. Physically my body wouldn’t let me, time-wise life won’t let me. I need to learn to sit with these thoughts, acknowledge them and release them on my own.
But for now, I will continue to use running to aid the process. Somehow the pressure has to be released.