Well, well, well…. it’s time to renew the hosting for this site. And I’m debating whether or not I should keep it going.
It feels scary and sad to just pull it all down. (I’ll never let the domain lapse, that’s mine!) But I also don’t post much here, I don’t have any running/racing stories to share these days so the only things I post are the occasional “hey, this company sent me something free” posts. And I’m pretty sure those companies aren’t getting any bang for their buck because my site barely gets traffic like it used to. I used to get thousands of views a day and now I’m hanging out around 50. That sounds so paltry and sad…
There’s also the side that blogging is not a “if you build it they will come” thing these days. I made a ton of friends back in the day. (I started this site in 2008, and I’ve been blogging since 2001!) I didn’t have to go out on social media platforms and basically beg people to stop by, but that’s how it works now. And I’m bad at that social promotion. “Please visit my site, I posted something new!”
I always feel like a fraud when I try to share posts that way. It usually comes across as, “So, I tested this thing and wrote about it.”
So anyway… here I am, contemplating blowing the site up. I posted it on Twitter and was asked why I would. The best answer I can come up with is that this hobby site feels like a chore most of the time, and the desire to blow it up is also coming from an existential crisis moment, fueled by depression, rage, frustration, and COVID-19 isolation. I want to break something and this is something I can break?
Maybe I need a break. From everything. I admit, I’m struggling with life right now.
Lastly, I bought these sandals from Amazon.
They’re plastic-y, lightweight, fake Birkenstocks that I like more than my real Birks. Also, this is an affiliate link so if you buy something from Amazon from following my link, a few pennies get pitched my way at no cost to you. Maybe then I would pay the hosting renewal and keep the site up and running! 🙂
Jill Will Run 
I can sense you struggling… although I like to see your posts just to know you’re still hanging in there… I can understand how your hobby is now feeling like a chore and that isn’t fun. You should be doing things that brings joy to your live. Best of luck whatever you decide… but I do hope you hang around.
Thank you so much for the kind words, I really appreciate it! It helps more than you might think!
I came to a similar place long ago and I blew up my original blog, started new site and then did nothing with it. I still renew every year but haven’t found the dedication I used to have. I hear you on the state of life 😦 I hope you can make changes or accept or whatever it is that will make it better for you. I still read many blogs (including yours) but almost exclusively in feedly b/c I like to keep up with people but I no longer have the patience to click through to the literal hundreds of blogs I followed back when that was the thing to do
I get it, all the blogs I still read are just through feedly, I rarely click through myself. But I really appreciate you reaching out and commenting on this! It makes the “blogosphere” (if that’s even a thing anymore from way back in the day!) feel a little less empty.