- I should write more.
- How would I fit that in?
- Why don’t I have more time to myself?
- How do people have time to craft? WTF?
- And girls nights? How do people go out with girlfriends all the time when they have kids? I’m lucky if I get that roughly 7 times a year.
- I’m a bad friend.
- Seriously, why is it so hard for me to reach out to people.
- Probably because I feel like I have no time.
- I’d totally sign up for some group fitness class if I had more time. Then I’d see other human beings more often.
- How would I pick? There are so many to choose from… yoga, barre, spin, boot camp…
- But they’re so far away? Why aren’t there more cool fitness studios in my part of town?
- Maybe I should move.
- Ha! Like I want that hassle. Ain’t nobody got time for that.
- But seriously, why am I so swamped?
- I look back at life 3 years ago and I felt busy then, but I wasn’t as busy then as I am now.
- Is that what life is? You just keep feeling busy, but keep cramming more stuff into it? And then you die?
- That’s cheery.
- Look at that tiny baby over there.
- Wow… time sure does fly, seems like my kid was that tiny yesterday. Now she’s 3!
- Holy crap… that woman with a 1-year-old is big and pregnant. Ugh…
- So glad that’s not me. Pregnancy blows.
- Who feels beautiful pregnant? Do people really feel beautiful or is that some kind of myth created to make the rest of us feel bad?
- Maybe it’s people who aren’t pregnant in 110-degree heat like I was.
- Nah… cause that was just part of my pregnancy and I felt like crap the whole time.
- Blech… just thinking about pregnancy makes me sad. What’s happier?
- Running.
- Running is pretty awesome.
- I’m finally feeling that curve of improvement that was explained in my RRCA certification course for beginning runners.
- That time where a beginner of any age will continue to see improvements for their first 7 years of running.
- That sounds like Stefon. “It’s that time, where in running, and you are a beginner, but if you keep being consistent with running, for the first seven years you will see improvements.”
- Anyway… running improvement.
- I missed out on some of my time that I could have been improving.
- Damn eating disorder treatment.
- Okay, it was a good thing.
- But it caused me to miss out on some serious running time.
- Maybe.
- ED could have taken me out too.
- Of course, that whole ED thing caused me to miss out on some big chunks of life too.
- Why do I have holes and gaps in my memory from that time? Did I ruin my brain or was that just some kind of protective mechanism?
- SQUIRREL!
- How can I be thinking about all these things as I do other things?
- My brain is convoluted.
- I want to sign up for another race.
- Just a week ago I was thinking that perhaps I wouldn’t race at all in 2016.
- Maybe instead of no races in 2016, I’ll sign up for another marathon.
- Mountains to Beach marathon sounds cool.
- Or I’ll do an ultramarathon finally!
- But racing is a hassle when you have a kid.
- And training for big mileage is a hassle when you have a kid.
- People with children who manage to race a lot must have SUPER support systems.
- I want to do more yoga.
- Maybe 2016 should be an attempt to do some kind of yoga every day.
- Yeah.. right. Life gets in the way too much to make some kind of daily goal like that.
- Brushing my teeth each day, that’s an accomplishment.
- Although… Year of Yoga could make a fun blog series.
- Year of Brushing Teeth is not fun blog fodder.
- I’m not committed enough to this site anymore to make a series like that. Old school blog, yes. New school blog, nope.
- Something like that takes a big support system too.
- How do other people get through day-to-day life?
- Why does my kid’s school close for parent-teacher conference day?
- And I’m not supposed to bring her to the conference? Don’t they know they are my sole source of childcare? It’s generally frowned upon to let your dog watch the kid.
- Unless you’re in Peter Pan’s world. That dog is the babysitter.
- Damn, those parents are screwed up.
- Where’s my off switch? I just want to sit in silence without thinking all the thoughts.
- Meditation fixes that.
- Yes, but meditation is HARD.
- I heard coloring is supposed to be as good as meditating.
- And who has time to meditate?
- This feels like a big circle.
- SQUIRREL!
Jill Will Run 
“Holy crap… that woman with a 1-year-old is big and pregnant. Ugh…”
That was totally me! My sons are 11 months apart. Was I crazy or what?!
That was my mom too! Those that do it (you!) are far braver than I!