Want to feel generally icky about humanity and simultaneously proud of how strong people can be when thrust into awful moments? Then I’ve got a book for you! It’s called “This Is Not About Running” by Mary Cain.
Okay, that’s not fair because I really don’t sell the book with that approach. I’m struggling to say this book was good or great, because the stuff that people have done to Mary Cain throughout her life… well, it’s awful. And when a subject is grim, it’s hard to proclaim it’s MUST READ MATERIAL!
Mary had exceptional running talent from a young age. She was far superior to other runners her age and outpaced the competition. And when she got moved up to compete alongside older students in her community, instead of embracing her like a younger sibling they should protect, they shunned her and were mean. This included her coaches and parents of other athletes on her team. I’m just appalled that adults could treat a child so poorly.
Mary had a little bit of a better experience when running with the boys at her school. I was glad to hear that. Truly, the middle school and even some of the high school years for girls are not great. I’m not letting boys off the hook, they’re usually obnoxious and loud and stinky at that age, but generally not flat out mean. (The entire premise of the movie Mean Girls is that girls can be awful toward each other. It’s in the name!) It’s just that those years are hard enough without having unnecessary cruelty, even at the hands of adults, to contend with.
When she turned pro and started to run for Nike under Alberto Salazar, that’s when things got really horrible. Everything I’ve ever read about Salazar indicates he is dreadful and his lifetime ban from running isn’t enough. He probably should be shunted off to live on some remote deserted island where he can’t physically or verbally abuse anyone ever again. (All my personal opinion from internet postings and books.)
The stories of how he made comments about female runners bodies and generally put them down wasn’t surprising, because I’ve read other sources that discuss his actions. But it still feels gross each time I read it anew from a different perspective. And the way he fawned over some of his chosen athletes, until he would eventually turn on them, was really creepy and indicates some issues of a damaged human being. But that damage doesn’t give him an excuse for what he did to others.
I really don’t want to harp on all the horrible things that happened to Mary and that she outlines so succinctly and bluntly in this book. Read it yourself for that. I will say that it’s readable, in that it progresses through a timeline and states every trial so matter-of-factly that it made it a quick read. Uncomfortable, yes… but quick.
Mary is now (as of this posting) 30 and a medical student at Stanford. And she is sharing all of this because she hopes that sports will change and improve. Change will never happen if people can’t share what happened and come forward. I hope that she continues to heal from her horrible experiences.
Sadly, I feel systems don’t change fast, and each time we take a step forward we also step backwards again. This is applicable in a lot of areas, not just sports. Maybe that is human nature.
This post feels bleak. But it is a bleak subject matter, with the glimmer of hope that someone made it through the trauma. I don’t think Mary Cain wants to be a portrait of abuse and a broken system forever, but by being brave and continuing to step forward she is helping expose the fractures. Maybe it will lead to healing for others and prevention of future abuse.