I’m getting really uncomfortable, having a hard time understanding how I’m supposed to keep getting bigger. I feel SOOOOO large. I hate maternity clothes at this point, I keep putting on running shorts and I’ve been wearing lots of dresses lately. None of the dresses are maternity ones. I’ve just bought some cute, cheap dresses at Target and (gasp!) Wal-Mart to get me through these last few weeks. They’re cooler than “real” clothes too.

When we were in Colorado last week there were lots of people in the family taking pics, so Kevin and I got a photo of the two of us together.

That’s about the extent of what I will do for maternity pictures. I have ZERO desire to sit around and pretend to lovingly gaze at my half-popped-out belly button with some kind of soft filter applied to the photo or make my hands into a heart shape on my stomach. If that’s your style, more power to you. It’s not for me.

Also at that photoshoot there was a picture taken of Kevin’s entire family, all bazillion of them*. And somehow my big ol’ belly and me ended up pretty prominently toward the front. There were tons of kids that should have been able to hide me, but no…. now I’m going to be stuck immortalized on his parents’ wall for the next 6 years or so as a pregnant lady. (Not posting that pic, there are a lot of kids in the photo. I try not to post too many pics of other people without permission, but especially not children. It’s not my decision to put someone else’s kid online.)

I had a doctor’s appointment this week on Monday. The doc said everything seems “perfect.” By that I guess she meant my weight, fundal height measurement, baby’s heartbeat, etc. What wasn’t “perfect” is my breathing, she said that I sounded horrible. In addition to just sitting there gasping for air, I have developed a rattling in my chest from congestion. So she gave me a new inhaler and a z-pack. I’ve had moments where the lack of air is so bad I just want to lay on the floor and cry, but I can’t do that because crying would take up too much of the precious little oxygen I’m getting. She said I shouldn’t hold back from heading to the ER or urgent care if the breathing is bad like it has been… but I don’t want to do those. I don’t know if any urgent care places around here take my insurance and the ER seems to be overkill.

Things I am desperately wishing I could do right now:

• Lay on the floor on my back with my legs up the wall.
• Stretch while sitting on the floor without my belly getting in the way.
• Yoga, real yoga with twists and bends and everything.
• Get comfortable.
• Run, even just 1 mile at a 12-min pace would be amazing right now.
• Actually wake up to run (or walk) at 4:30 AM.
• Breathe, fully and completely without gasping.
• Use some kind of toxic chemical to try fading all these ugly pregnancy-acne spots on my face.
• Enjoy food, it all seems so blah to me right now.
• Cool off.
• Stop my left foot from swelling.
• Make the kid get out of my ribs. People don’t belong in other people’s ribs.

*It’s easier to say “bazillion” than to count up how many people were there. Cause I’m lazy like that.