Where is the right path?

Crystal Ball and fortune teller
Oh creepy lady... won't you tell me what the next year holds for me? Pretty please?

Do you ever wish you had a crystal ball that told you exactly where you are supposed to be going in life? I find myself wanting this all the time lately. Interestingly, if someone had shown young Jill some of the challenges that she would face, the response would have been, “Aw, hell no!”

My mom mentioned something like this to me recently as well… that she’s very content and happy with her life right now, but no way would she have wanted to face some of the obstacles she’s had to climb if she had known about them in advance.

Yet, it is these very obstacles that are so powerful in molding us into who we are.

Maybe I could have a short limited view into the future, just over the next 12 months or so… I feel like that would help me so much.

I know, that’s not the way life works….

I am thrilled to be running again after my summer stress fracture (un)fun.  And even though my endurance took a pretty big hit, my dreaming is on overdrive at this point and I keep thinking of race after race after race that I want to sign up for.  Half marathons, full marathons, ultra marathons… they’re all pinned onto the vision board in my head.

Races are expensive… and I just bought a new house.  There is a lot to be done around here… getting window coverings up so that I don’t feel like I live in a fishbowl anymore is a big one!  The kitchen faucet is broken, carpets need to be replaced eventually, the backyard needs landscaping, etc.

And there is still the little issue of MTH… that’s marathon training health for those of you who don’t remember or haven’t been around since January.  MTH is kind of returning, but not fully functional the way it should be.  We don’t need to go into the details, but I probably still need to keep the +13.1 mile races off the agenda for a while.

Also if full MTH returns like it should, that introduces a whole other realm that women in their 30’s need to address… I guess some women address this in the 20’s, some in the 40’s (and some in the teens or the 50’s, but those are more atypical.)  But once a woman reaches the age of 35, apparently the fertility issue starts becoming even more of a concern to the medical field.  That age is pretty close for me.  And where I’ve already had years and years of trouble with this area (I’ve never really said this word directly, but I guess I would technically meet the standards of “infertility”) do I really ignore that timing just to run a race, or 20?

Scheduling is also a concern. I want to come back to coach Team Challenge again next season.  So if I scheduled a bunch of races, they’d most likely have to be crammed into January-March for the most part before the next season begins training.  That would probably be a bit excessive!

It’s driving me bonkers.  I know I’m supposed to be mindful and live in the moment and appreciate the now… but I’m struggling to do that when the near future seems so confusing!

Do you ever get so caught up thinking about the future that the present loses focus?

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9 comments

  1. Oh Jill – I was thinking about this very thing today – and have been for the last few weeks. I feel lost and befuddled. Am I in the right career? Am I on the right path? Is what I’m doing good for me and for others? If you figure it out, please let me know. You’ll be in my prayers as you find your path as well. 🙂

  2. I have great faith in your running abilities Jill! Your muscles and lungs never forget your past races fully and you will be back to marathon fitness in no time. Just be careful not to push things too quickly to fast so that you don’t suffer another injury

    Running Blog

    • The pushing too fast is tough… you want to come back and do every race, but then the fear of another injury is very prevalent too! It’s always good to get those reminders so I don’t end up on the bench again! Thanks!

  3. Yep. Totally. When we’re getting close to a move, I get mildly obsessed with where we’re going to move, when we’re going to move, etc. And I start emotionally detaching from all the people where we’re currently living months before we actually leave. I try to fight it somewhat, but it’s hard.

    • Maybe it’s human nature, to always be thinking ahead. Or maybe it’s how we’ve been conditioned to be… I can’t imagine the cave people thinking, “What am I going to be doing next week? Or next month? Or, OMG… what about next year?!” 🙂

  4. One of Joe’s professors asked in an assignment where the students wanted to be in 20 years. Joe’s answer was “Alive”:) How bout in ten years, next year. We really looked at our lives and what we really wanted out of life and how to live our life so that we could accomplish those things. We all question our decisions but following our values and valuing all that we have learned should really help as we set and reach our goals. Well, enough pontificating for today:)

  5. One of Joe’s professors asked students to write down where they wanted to be in 20 years. Joe’s answer was “Alive”:) Then, how bout 10 years: next year. It really makes you stop and think where you want your life to be and how should you be living to get to that point

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